The birth of our first grandchild ushered in the grandparent stage of life with deceptive simplicity. While my husband and I rejoiced with the baby’s parents, there was a certain relief in knowing we were not responsible for the intense investment of the next few years: financial provision, night feedings, toilet training, and Christian nurture and discipline. We looked forward to helping with babysitting and learning to know the grandchildren as they grew older but did not give much thought to being a significant influence on their faith journey.

Josh Mulvihill suggests that, contrary to society’s expectations, grandparents still have a significant and ongoing role in transmitting faith to the next generation.  Grandparenting’s four sections explore false cultural messages, God’s design, discipleship practices, and ways to strengthen relationships.  Each unit concludes with a chapter from godly grandparents whose focus has been that particular theme, and study questions encourage further thought.

Contemporary culture assures grandparents that they should be independent of their extended families, enjoy themselves (they have worked hard!), and aim primarily to be their grandchildren’s fun playmates.  While we may have nobler ambitions, too many of us lack a deliberate plan for pursuing them.  The focus chapter from this section describes grandparenting as an intentional season of giving: in addition to presence, we contribute flexibility of expectations, spiritual tools, joy and celebration in belonging, and personal stories of God’s work.

Although biblical Hebrew has no word for grandparents, the concept of multi-generational responsibility is clearly taught.  Mulvihill’s two main texts on God’s design (among many others) are Deut. 4:9 and Psalm 78.  Scripturally sound grandparenting begins with the grandparents’ own clear vision and passion for making God known to the next generations.  Christian families are prone to deficiencies in family discipleship, biblical worldview, and healthy church involvement, and grandparents can help!  Certainly married offspring constitute a new family unit, but there are appropriate ways to support and mentor.  Mulvihill says, “Grandparents are the adjunct servant of the godly parent and the spiritual surrogate of the ungodly parent.” (62)

Discipling grandchildren does not stop with praying for them and spending time with them.  Plan extended-family meals as a means of connection and a place to converse.  Ask good questions, a teaching tool seen in biblical wisdom literature and in many churches’ use of catechisms. The apostle Paul’s goal for the church was spiritual maturity, and his methods (proclaiming the gospel, warning against sin, and teaching biblical principles) are still effective.  Read and discuss the Bible and core Christian truths.  The common OT practice of spoken blessings can convey our affection, affirmation, and hopes for our grandchildren’s future.

Strong family relationships are important, not only for the joy they bring, but to reflect the love of Christ and communicate the gospel message to broken people around us.  Closely connected families are also the environment in which intergenerational discipleship can flourish.  The sin and difficulty that characterize all fallen relationships provide opportunities for humility, repentance, forgiveness, and restoration.  A focus chapter by Mulvihill’s father and stepmother addresses the challenges of special-needs children, the death of a parent/grandparent, and the blended families that result from late-in-life remarriages.

As a father, pastor, and co-founder of the grandparenting ministry Legacy Coalition, Mulvihill has been researching this subject for some time.   The year he spent reading through the Bible and looking for any material related to grandparenting yielded numerous practical applications.  The word “intentional” shows up often throughout the book and sums up both the author’s perspective and my own takeaway.  Engagingly written, easy to read, and highly recommended, not just for grandparents but for parents looking ahead and church leaders with an eye to biblically shepherding families.