What Do You Think of Me?  Why Do I Care?  provides Scriptural insight into the problem of being controlled by the opinions of others.  We naturally long for the praise and love of other people, and when this “need” is not met, we feel  discredited and worthless.  One of our culture’s foundational  assumptions  is that “low self-esteem” (a socially acceptable term for “peer pressure”) is at the heart of most personal difficulties.  As a licensed psychologist, Edward Welch is familiar with such flawed diagnoses and deceptive solutions; as an experienced biblical counselor, he focuses on helping people understand what the Bible teaches.  This book, written especially for young people, is somewhat of a condensation/revision of Welch’s earlier work, When People are Big and God is Small.

In the introduction, Welch defines and gives examples of the fear of man.  He proposes that  three important questions define how all human beings  live: “Who is God? Who am I? Who are these other people?”   Whether or not we are conscious of asking these questions, all of us have answers to them—and while we may know the right response, our lives indicate what really regulates our perspectives and actions.  Welch gives examples of typical sinful answers, to jump-start our thinking; the remainder of the book presents right Scriptural answers and reveals some of our sinful distortions of them.

He also suggests that we have preconceived “answers” about the Bible, God’s Word to us and our only reliable guide.  Lest the Bible seem loftily distant from the pressures of the digital age, he clarifies: “The Bible…is about messed-up people and the way God pursues them.” (28)  He follows this with a few examples of people-pleasers from ancient times.   Later in the book, the Bible is described as “showing us how to be real human beings.” (110)

Welch differentiates between wants and needs before spending several chapters on worship. Even people who are committed to Jesus can develop divided allegiances.  Christians who think they need God’s forgiveness only when they do something obviously sinful will be shocked to realize that mixed allegiances are sin.  Betrayal, treason, idol worship, running from the God who loves us: these are part of our ongoing story.  Recognizing that, says Welch, will make us more grateful to God for His continuing forgiveness.    How can you tell when a good and legitimate thing has become an idol?  Identifying what makes you angry will give you an indication of what you really worship.  

The second half of the book deals with each of the three big questions in turn.  It is here that Welch’s knowledge of theology joins forces with his years of experience in counseling people to produce sound, well-defined, understandable explanations of some fairly heavy doctrinal concepts.  Use of visual media has increased our tendency to depend on visual assistance; recognizing this, Welch makes wise use of imaginative word pictures and descriptions. 

While the subject is essential and Welch’s treatment of it exceptional,  I found the book difficult to connect to, initially.  Welch is obviously writing for a younger audience; his style of writing is fairly casual and a little scattered, especially in the first section.   If you come, as I do, from the generation that considers “freak” and “tick” primarily nouns and “hang out” to require a direct object, you may wince at descriptions of people freaking out, hanging out in God’s throne room and (Jesus!) being ticked off.  Welch also references several cultural icons he expects readers to be familiar with; I was clueless.  He does not descend to crude slanginess, however, and clearly has a deep sense of the holiness of God.   Literary snobbery and pulchritude aside, his refreshing yet wholesome explanations of Scriptural truths are nothing short of excellent!   As a teacher of the very young, I picked up plenty of material and ideas.  As a beginner in the school of truth, I was also blessed and instructed.  This is a book to read yourself and then pass on to some younger person of your acquaintance.